


The Empty Space Between Us

by thenukacolagirl



Category: Choices (Visual Novels), Open Heart (Visual Novels)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Breathplay, F/M, Hand Jobs, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Love Bites, Mutual Masturbation, Near Death Experiences, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Past Sexual Abuse, Vaginal Fingering, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:00:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23072089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenukacolagirl/pseuds/thenukacolagirl
Summary: Summary: Ethan and Bianca find that even the distance they’ve put between one another still isn’t enough.
Relationships: Ethan Ramsey/Main Character (Open Heart), Ethan Ramsey/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	The Empty Space Between Us

**Author's Note:**

> Song inspiration is Sugar Burn by Jaymes Young
> 
> Kind of self indulgent and angsty but whats new 🤪
> 
> (Another warning / heads up is self inflicted harm but isnt pre planned or thought out)

Bianca opens her eyes again, a coy smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she feels his eyes on her. She pushes herself up and allows the sheets to slip farther down, exposing her whole back and precariously settling right at her hips. Red lace peeking just above the seams , a taste of what lies underneath. “Been waiting for you, Ramsey, you’re late. Was starting to think you bailed on me.”

She’s met with a low, throaty chuckle as footsteps are heard on the titled flooring. “And leave you? Never.”

Twisting herself around, gazing over her shoulder to find Ethan leaning against the wall, arms folded across his chest. The outer edges of the moonlight bathe him, making him appear like a god or a man that one can only find in their dreams. He’s let his stubble grow out, left his hair to be more of an untamed mess. It suits him well, makes him appear more serene. 

“Never?” Though she phrases it as a question, she means it more as a statement.

He shakes his head at her. His blues staring right at her, into her, a silent way to show how serious he was and what his words meant to him. To them. “ _Never_. How could I ever leave a woman like you?”

The coyness fades in her smile as she slips out from under the cover and rises to her feet. Allowing the moonlight to bathe her as well, shadowing her against its pale light. When she turns fully to face him, she swears the man almost drops to his knees. A groan sounding from the base of his throat and deep within his chest as his posture relaxes and a softness overcomes him. But the eyes tell the truth. She sees the way they darken, the raw desire consuming him as she saunters her way towards him.

It helps that he’s always had a weakness for her and the color red.

Patience is their vice, not a virtue, at least for tonight. When she’s in arms reach, he swiftly pulls her in and presses her to the wall, hiking her legs up and allowing her to wrap them around his waist while he holds her in place. He’s not masking his lasciviousness for her- yet again neither is she. His hot breath is kissing her skin before an actual kiss. Cologne and her perfume making for a beautiful yet odd scent, one she inhales like a goddamn drug. She dips her head low, slanting her mouth over his and connecting with a kiss that makes the angels in heaven weep. Teeth grazing lips, tongues tasting one another. He tastes like addiction and lust. A delicacy to her.

Another victory for the vices.

They part for air, briefly, and Ethan presses his forehead against hers and pushing her more against the wall as she threads her fingers through his hair. Their heavy-lidded eyes staring back at one another, blue matching green in harmony. “For fuck sakes Bianca…” he hisses his words as he goes back in for another quick and hungry kiss before drawing away. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

Bianca leans in and bites his bottom lip, his skin between her teeth, fingers digging more into his dark locks. She pulls away, leaving him hungry for more. “Then show me.” She breathes the words like a silent prayer to the god before her. 

He answers her prayer without hesitation, showing his devotion towards her. To give her everything she wants and more. He captures her lips in a feverish kiss, one that trails from lips to the base of her neck and nips at hot skin along the way back up. The biting sends pluses of white-hot pleasure through her that starts at her spine and spreads through the rest of her body. He silences her whimpers with bites on her neck and with hands squeezing her thighs.

Lowering her back to the ground, he releases the hold from her thighs and places his hands on her hips. Fingers brushing over the delicate red last but stake their claim by slipping beneath the waistline of her underwear. The way he works his fingers over her sensitive skin causes her knees to buckle. Her saving grace being Ethan holding her up and not allowing her to fall. Bianca slips her hands away from his hair and glides down to the hem of his tight, white shirt and gives it a needy tug. Raw, lustful moans rattle her chest when she moves a hand up his shirt and is met with flushed skin and muscles tensing. She throws her head back when lips bite her and suck on her throat, an audible moan escaping past parted pink lips that are tinted red from being tasted.

“Ethan-” his name spills over her lips, a begging cry, an impetuous plea. A carnal haze filling her mind as fingers rake at the skin around his stomach.

“Is this what you wanted _babygirl_? I’ve barely gotten started.” There’s a growl that shows itself at the end of his words. He takes away one of his hands that’s buried under the red lace and instead places it carefully around her neck, thumb rubbing circles around places where his mouth was moments ago, soothing angry red skin. The one hand that reminds in her panties lowering towards her waiting cunt.

“Ethan _please_.” She speaks it like an orison as her legs tremble when the hand around her neck presses ever so slightly into her. The sensation brings a rush of heat that cools into an electric pleasure. Her heavy-lidded eyes struggle to stay open, catching glimpses of a smirk on his lips or dangerously beautiful pools of blue watching her. “Please touch me-”

Her words are met with a baritone chuckle and a thumb guiding up and down on her throat, like ocean waves during a tide. “Gotta be more specific, baby. You mean like this?” He humors her by allowing his fingers creep over her clit and slide between her lips though never denying them the pleasure of entering her. The display draws a cry of needs from lips and and the first hint of wetness to collect around his fingers.

“Ethan!” Her back arches from the wall, pushing her hips forward in a futile attempt to feel his strong fingers work her raw. Pointed fingernails clawing from his navel straight upwards to his chest, creating a tight hiss that comes from his lips.. The grip around her neck becomes tauten, making her breathing become strenuous but not impossible. The stars dancing in her vision match those of the ones just beyond the walls of their little sanctuary. “Oh god _yes_ please! Please Ethan right there-”

A hot kiss tames her, though it could be argued it’s to tame himself more. Agonizingly slow, he lets his fingers to brush back over her lips and clit before leaving her. Pulling his hand free from her panties- only to grab a fist full of the dainty lace and give a harsh tug of it twice over. An audible tearing sound breaking the silence and the torn fabric falling to the ground. Humid air cools against her newly exposed skin while a string of groans and moans ache in her chest and come deep from the back of her throat. Before she has a chance to protest, Ethan scoops her into his arms again and carries her to the bed. Their lips never leave the others, too consumed by a longing hunger, a bittersweet pain.

Their kiss breaks when Ethan lays her back against the bed, sprawling her out against the white sheets. He straddles her, sitting back and letting the moonlight fully consume him as they gaze at one another in a peaceful, sensual silence. Their cheats heave, sweat collects on the nape of necks and foreheads. The soft summer winds there to cool off their fever hot bodies that are racing with ignited nerves and white-hot pleasure pooling in their very cores.

They’re like artists admiring their masterpieces one last time before destroying it.

Ethan makes the first cataclysmic move. He pushes her legs apart, falling perfectly in place between her spread legs and lower in close to her. Febrile breaths ghosting her lips as he slants his mouth over her own and steals a kiss, teeth pulling at plump skin as he draws away. Bianca props herself up to still savor the kiss that leaves her feeling more starved than full. A needy whine coming from her that he can only give a smirk to. 

“Being needy I see,” another kiss peppers the underline of her jaw while letting his fingers toying around her entrance by parting her lips and finding her clit, pressing a finger against it though nothing more. “And already so _wet_ for me, too.” 

Bianca can’t stifle the moan and shiver of pleasure that wracks her body. “Fuck you. I-I’m not the one who ruined a brand new pair of panties.”

“Oh I’ll have ruined so much more than just panties when I’m through with _you_ ,” he growls and pushed his finger just enough into her to start working on her clit with tight, circular motions.

A sharp gasp leaves her and a string of curses. The sensation clouds her head in a fog as Ethan appears hellbent on overstimulating her and wetting her until she’s drenched for him.She reaches behind and braces a hand against the headboard, giving her something to temporarily ground herself to. Bianca takes her other hand and hurriedly tugs at his white shirt, wordlessly trying to tell him to take it off until he finally takes the hint and with her aid, strips it from his body and tosses it to the floor. Emphatic groans vibrate her throat that bleed into being breathless cries of his name when his finger rubs her just right. Though she yearns to take more of him and begins to rock her hips in a lecherous and steady pace. There comes bouts of a burning sensation that travels between her belly button and down into her pelvic region that leave her coating his finger more as his motions become tighter and stronger.

Gruff moans emit from Ethan, lips parted and shoulders shaking as he steadies himself on the headboard, his hand enveloping hers and lacing their fingers together. She presses her forehead against his, the inches between them thick with labored breathing and panting moans. He slips his finger out from her, leaving in its wake an emptiness that is quickly filled when she feels two fingers now circling her clit in more forceful movements. Dancing stars plague her vision and her body arches against his, a paradisaical ardor taking her over.

Her lips find his again, swallowing any and all moans that leave Ethan in a salacious manner. Bianca pours everything words fail to explain in the kiss. How starved she is for his love, his affection and _him_. The deep sense of ache that squeezes her heart so tightly she feels it my break. Even how his fingers that work her clit so god damn _well_ push her to the brink of blinding euphoria. His calescent body-hell just physically being near him- is a reminder that she’s not alone. She partakes in coaxing borderline animalistic growls and strenuous moans from him, creating music for them to listen to. Her free hand grabs a fistful of hair and she hooks one of her legs around his waist, angling her herself to take his fingers better and driving herself closer to the edge.

They break for much needed air, drinking it in with large gasps while her heavy eyes flutter open at the right moment to see Ethan’s open as well. A heated gaze between them both, eyes surveying each others faces and trailing down the others body.

“God look at you,” he says breathless as fingers still sustain their rhythmic circling of her clit, “all laid out for me like _this_.”

Bianca gives him a lazy smile that fades into a gasp, his fingers hit her just right causing a forceful tremor to take her over. She struggles to keep her eyes open long enough to trail her gaze over his exposed chest and down to the waistband of his pants. Seeing them still on, her eyes snap back up to his face where she pulls him in for a quick kiss before letting go. An idea sparking to life in her mind on how to show him exactly what he’s doing to her. 

“Pants off. _Now_ ,” she growls at him as she squeezes his hand that’s still laced with her own.

Though she hates feeling his fingers leave her clit and his iron grip leaves her hand, Ethan does as told. He sits back on his knees, fingers clumsily undoing the button and slipping off one pant leg off at a time in his awkward position. Pants joining the shirt that lays somewhere on the floor and Bianca can see easily in the moonlight the way his cock is straining against his boxers, seeking for sweet relief and freedom. She can’t repress the smirk that plays on her lips when in a fluid motion, she flips them over and shoves Ethan deep into the mattress. The sudden position change leaving a sense of bewilderment and awe in his eyes as she straddles him at the hips, sitting just below his cock. 

So close and yet… just t _oo_ far out of reach. 

Bianca gives a lazy laugh, a teasing glint in her eyes when she digs her fingers into his boxers and pulls them down enough to let his cock be free from the constraints of stretched fabric. “Now look who’s all laid out for _me_.” Her eyes flicker between his flushed face and his hardened cock, seeing the precum leaking from the tip, the sight sending a searing hot wave of pleasure through her and soaking herself more between her legs. She sprawls her hands against his bare chest, grounding herself to remind her of this world and not the next as the haze returns to cloud her mind. 

Ethan finds his own anchor in hooking an arm around her lower back and his other hand already poised to dig its fingers back to her swollen and throbbing clit. He flashes her a tiny lopsided grin before sitting up and nipping at her earlobe. Hot breath against her ear as he speaks to her in a low, husky tone that borders on a growl. “I’m all yours.”

Those three simple words are all she needs to hear.

The beginning of an end, artists destroying their masterpieces to create something anew.

She loops an arm around his neck, pressing their bodies close as they anchor themselves to one another. Ethan finds her clit one again, spreading her open for him and circling it in powerful strokes. Her other soft and dainty hands finds itself palming at his cock, giving a taste of what’s to come before she takes it fully. Long strokes from the base to his head, thumb running over his tip and coating it in his precum. 

Teeth sink into her flesh, his stubble tickling the side of her neck as Ethan bites her shoulder. Boisterous groans and panting moans escaping him from the newfound stimulation. Trying so hard to cling, to anchor and *hold* himself to her and not let himself go. The rhythm of his fingers quickening, circling becoming strides that reach down to her entrance that’s soaked and ready to take his cock before going back to her swollen clit. Her hips match his expeditious pace and coming together in a way that leaves a searing heat to engorge her core and a pulling sensation build up. She strokes him well, rapidly increasing her speed while coating his cock and her fingers more.

Blood pounds in her ears, the noise matching the speed of her quickening heartbeat and a tightness gripping her chest. The collusion of hips meeting fingers pushing her to her edge of an orgasm. She claws his back, making angry red marks appear across his shoulder blades. His cock twitches in her grip as a gutted groan leaves him and he jerks his hips upwards, driving the pull her pelvic region taunt and on the brink of release. 

Ethan draws his lips away from her shoulder, a bite mark left behind to bruise later. “Bianca- _fuck_ baby I’m so close.” 

A lengthy sigh that becomes a moan expels from her lungs. She slides her hand from his back to his face, rough stubble against her palm as he leans into her touch, like he’s been starved of it his whole life. Her eyes opening ever so slightly to catch fleeting glances of his face, admiring what she’s done to it. How his eyes remain shut, dark hair falling in little strands just above his eyes that contrast handsomely against swollen red lips that are parted and whispering her name like silent prayers she’s not supposed to hear. 

“Ethan…Ethan look at me,” she mumbles to him as a salient cry interrupts her words when his fingers hit her *right* in her sweet spot and worsen the pull that’s burning itself into her core.“I want to look at you wh-while you fuck me. Keep those eyes on me-”

The coarse stubble scraps across her palm as he lifts his head up and Bianca is instantly taken by the dark blues that open before her. Ethan’s holding look on her is like seeing a goddess for the first time, like she’s a sight no mortal woman or man should ever be able to see. He draws her into his space, close enough to touch his forehead to hers as he takes his hand away from her clit and slides both hands to her thighs. He passes her a look, a silent way of seeking out permission. 

A permission she grants with a nod. A _promise_.

A promise he’s not going to hurt her. No matter what.

She lets go of his cock in time for him to lift her onto him, going down on him smoothly which is met with gasps and moans from both of them. She squeezes her eyes shut, adjusting to his length in her before opening them again and finding his eyes right away. Ethan adjusts her hold on her snaking an arm up her back and resting his hand on her shoulder, fingernails digging into skin in an attempt to tether himself more to the world. He mirrors her affection by cupping the side of her face, rubbing his thumb between the bridge of her nose and under her right eye, not minding the scar that made itself home on a very small area of her skin.

Bianca bites and pulls on her already flushed lips, drawing blood from a nic in the skin. Stertorous whimpers rattle her chest when Ethan begins snapping his hips and gathers speed. The force and the way his cock deepens further into her causes violent trembles in her thighs and shoulders to shake, the whimpers turning into overstimulated cries of pleasure.

“You’re taking me so well, babygirl,” his praise between raspy moans makes her heartache in the same way the pull in her core does. It’s line fraying and seconds away from snapping. “So _fucking_ well and looking so- _oh_ \- breathtaking wh-while you do.”

A brief smile comes over before it fades as they fall into an impatient rhythm, his length now almost fully in her as she has to use her free hand to reach out and grab the headboard behind him to steady herself. “Ethan…oh Ethan- _shit_ -I’m so close! I’m gonna come-”

He peppers her parted lips with ghost like kisses , the corners of her vision darkening and closing in as the sensation of the pull is right there in fingertips reach. Though his tone is gruff and grunts of sexual frustration leave him, his words mean the world to her. “It’s okay sweetheart,” he pauses as an intense moan rips through him, “it-it’s going to be okay…I got you. I-I have you.”

The last words she ever hears fall from his lips sound but a world away, they’re comforting yet open a wound that’s remained buried. “I’ll _always_ have you.” 

Twilight clouds her vision while she screams his name and lets the euphoric orgasm take her over. The high she should ride from it, however; seems to die and fade into a world that no longer exists yet brings her into another more grounded reality. A brute invisible force slamming hard into her back and stealing the very air from her lungs. Painful gasps burning her airways and her eyes snapping wide open and instantly making her sit straight up. One hand placed on top of her thunderous heartbeat while the other is white-knuckling the front of her sheets, fingers twisted so deep she feels how soaked her panties are and the high from the orgasm leaving her shaking.

Frantically, her eyes dart around the room that’s shrouded in obscurity. No sounds outside of the pitter-patter of rain drops on a window and her maladroit breathing, nobody else except herself and an empty space right beside her.

Oh.

 _Oh_.

She doesn’t register the tears right away. Only when they’re dampening her cheek does she notice. A deep rooted pain making its home in her chest as she clasps a hand over her mouth to muffle the sobs she doesn’t wish to hear. His name dances on her tongue but saying it out loud would feel like a betrayal. A seething anger boils in her blood while tormention plagues her mind. Every conceivable emotion hitting her and devouring like she’s their prey and they are the predators.

The guilt being the worst predator of all. A guilt that sinks its teeth into her conscience and pry open her thoughts that speak louder than the rain and sound more ominous than monsters that may lurk in the dark.

_Look at you. Pathetic. Running away from your problems like you always do. Was running back to the city where you nearly put yourself six feet under with the aid of boozes a solution or a quick fix to your problem? Leaving Boston wasn’t about work.. That was just a flimsy lie to convince yourself you’re fine. It was about forgetting him. This whole time it’s always been about forgetting him.Thinking distance would heal you when it’s only inflicted and reopened new wounds._

“Shut up. Shut the _fuck_ up.” Her words drip with malice and venom. She breathes in a shuddering sob, the air caustic to her lungs. A fresh wave of tears pools in her eyes and Bianca digs the palms of her hand to prevent them from spilling over. But in her blackened vision the dream flashes by, torturing her without mercy. She tears her hands away, allowing the tears to freely fall was the lesser of two evils in the moment.

Though not as sinister as the thoughts and voice that return to gorge on her. _Oh poor Bianca. Sweet, sweet little Bianca. You’re thinking about him. About how he’s always made you feel protected, loved for. That he was the first person in a long while that didn’t take advantage of you. He’s given you hopes for a future you never dreamed possible. But you shed tears over him, over a man who hurt you._

“Shut it! Shut up! E-Ethan didn’t hurt me! He never has hurt me!”

_But he reminded you what it’s **like** to feel hurt, hasn’t he? No amount of sweet words, passionate fucks and longing gazes ever you ever had with him will ever cover up the fact that deep down you know… you know he left to get away from **you**._

An overwhelming wave of nausea hits and Bianca pushes herself from her bed and stumbles her way into the bathroom. The sensor light comes on overhead as she slams the door and stands over the skin, dry heaving into it and spitting up bile, body barely able to support itself up as she forces herself to lean on the sink, coughing the last amounts of bile to leave her system while the nausea churns in her stomach.

Rapidly she tries to blink the tears away while lifting her head up. The reflection she catches in the mirror and it’s a sight she wishes wasn’t real. In the mirror she catches every tremble, every tear that leaves her red rimmed eyes and falls down her cheek. It’s the sight of seeing her hair a tangled mess and strands sticking to her neck or side of her face, like she’s been sweating all night. Fuck, even in the reflection she see’s how her panties are soaked through and the sweat that still clings around on her forehead. 

Her world comes crashing down on her, suffocating herself like she’s drowning. Outwardly she appears fine- as fine as one can be- but inside it’s nothing but an apocalyptic storm hellbent on destroying her from the inside out. She grips the counter, grounding herself but only so she didn’t collapse to her knees. She holds in the sobs that attempt to claw their way out of her throat though it makes her body violently convulse. Pressure rises in her chest, an acidic burn still lingering in her throat. Though she can drown her own sobs, she can’t drown everything.

The everything becomes the victor and her the victim. Drowning her in a hauntingly beautiful scream that is deafening enough to break glass.

_______________________________________________

The sound of glass shattering ruins the surrealness of the morning. A sign that a storm has passed and left its wake nothing but destruction.

And blood. So much _fucking_ blood.

Ethan registers his blood dripping onto the floor and staining the grout between the wall and the sink before even registering he put his fist through a mirror. Shards sticking out or embedded in cuts, particles of smaller shards twinkling in the harsh overhead lighting before they’re coated in red. The pain ebbs its way slowly into his mind- shock being one hell of a drug- and it’s almost the perfect distraction to take him away from the world crumbling around him.

Keyword being _almost_.

The pain isn’t a distraction, if anything it draws more attention to everything else and amplifies the pain that bleeds in his veins and squeezes his heart with an iron grip. He slowly draws his eyes away from his hand and stares into the shattered mirror, finding his once intact reflection now destroyed. Though there are deep cracks and missing pieces, he can still make himself out. He can still see the way his blues are vibrant color and rimmed red at the edges, hair tousled and a glisten of the cold sweat that dampens his skin. Tears cloud his vision, blurring the world into a mess of white that’s streaked with red. 

_It’s your fault you’re like this._

The thought makes him wince and coaxes a choked out sob that he’s burying deep in his chest. He blinks away the tears, but in every blink and split second of darkness all he can see is _her_ , the problem he ran away from like a damn coward.

No… no Bianca isn’t a “problem”, she’s anything but one. 

Ethan knows its all him, not her. He’s the one who woke up on the brink of an orgasm and decidedly chose to finish himself off so he could selfishly cling onto the dream that’s slipping away from him. To get one last chance to cry out her name, to speak it for the first time in months. Jacking himself off and coming to the thought of her angelic face and emerald hues speckled with shades of amber. That sweet voice of hers saying his name, knowing he pushed her to the edge and left every mark along her body to show for it. 

In the aftermath of what he’d done, what he thought of and the sin he pleasured himself to, Ethan found himself unable to handle the agony that branded itself into every fiber of his being. The pain, the _guilt,_ all of it swallowing him after disallowing himself to feel any of it. It manifested itself into angry tremors, a tightening sensation in his chest and the loudest of sobs he’s ever allowed to come out of him.

Which led him to breaking the mirror. Seeking the release and freedom to get rid of the pain raging in him. 

At the end of it all, it didn’t even fucking work. Just like how running away from her didn’t work either.

He shakily pulls away from the mirror and sits himself down on the edge of the tub, trailing blood across the white tiles. He coughs when he tries to fill his lungs with a calming breath while he stares at his hand. It’s a strenuous effort as he starts to pick the shards out of his hand, not able to keep either of them steady as he pulls one free and almost drops it when he sets it to the side. The blurring tears not helping either.

“You didn’t have to hurt yourself Ethan.”

Ethan snaps his head up and blinks away the hot tears that sting his eyes. His breathing chokes up in his throat, building up another sob crawling its way into his throat. “B-Bianca?”

It’s not the blood loss making him see her. It’s a lot but not anything he’s going to be bleeding out over. It’s all psychological and emotionally charged. His subconscious manifesting his deepest want and need. She’s dressed in a tank top and shorts, sitting on the bathroom counter, appearing as though what happened between never happened at all. Her eyes get him the most, so soft yet holding a great weight of pain

Even when she smiles sadly at him the pain shows through. “I know you want me to take the away pain, Ethan, but I can’t.”

“I-I don’t care about that,” he chokes out, “I don’t ca-care about the fucking p-pain! None of it! I just care that I hurt _you_!” Ethan turns away from her, letting fresh tears spill onto his cheeks as he inhales deeply to subside the suffocation in his chest. He’s unsure what is killing him more: knowing she’s not actually there, or knowing he’s speaking to an empty room with no one but himself to listen.

Looking back to her is a struggle, and finding her eyes once again that are glossy with her own is but a nail in his personal coffin. Words don’t come right away, betraying him until he forces out what he longs to say in a whisper that barely grazes his lips. “I’m sorry Bianca.”

In the illuminating white light, Ethan catches a single stray tear fall from her right away and over the scar that lies right underneath. “And I’m sorry too Ethan.”


End file.
